i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
