absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
