I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
