I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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