Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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