How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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