I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
