wakey wakey hands off snakey
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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