I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
