Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Your cock deserves a montage
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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