Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
