it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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