we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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