I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
