You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
