It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
