Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
