The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
