sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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