All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
