he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
