You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just gift wrapped bread.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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