My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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