Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
