just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
