there was a trapeze. enough said
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
