Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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