i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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