It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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