The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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