You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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