I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
