Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
