Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
