if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
