No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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