I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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