Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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