just tell him i said nine months
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
