this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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