belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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