My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
