At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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