Pappa wants mamma naked
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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