you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We need a shit load of segways right now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
