I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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