I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
