You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
