you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
