I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
