but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
