"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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