PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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