think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
