My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
